This week, I've had one too many people tell me about their bad experiences at the makeup counter. I've had plenty of bad experiences, some of which have made me contact corporate, storm out in a rage, and made me the subject of chatter in message boards. [By the way, the message board comments were found by the company, and I received a very awesome package of my previous purchases and new goodies anonymously a couple weeks later.] So, this is a rant of all the things that I have experienced, and others have experienced on a crappy day at the makeup counter. (Since I've been on both sides of the table, I have a response coming soon.)
Dear ma'am behind the counter,
I know you saw me walk in. I know you saw me. I came in because I needed a new eye liner and a powder compact. I was thinking about trying a new blush or something, eh, I dunno. You could have given me a quick 'hello' or 'someone will be right with you', but instead, you chose to act like the 5'6 moving figure was a mere shadow. I know you have a goal to make, you might even have commission to make, and that should have been the extra incentive to land me as a customer today. Sure, I know you're going to start the process and ask me what I need, then sit me down to give me a mini makeover and have me spend an extra $200. And you know what? It would have worked!
I can't lie, I'm already scared that you're going to put way too much makeup on me. I saw last week's episode of RuPaul's Drag Race. Nina Flowers already rocked that look. Why the eff are you wearing so much makeup? Your brows are unnatural, I can probably scrape your foundation off with my fingernail. I'm an everyday girl, who wants to look like an everyday girl. Please, if you sit me down for a 'makeover', don't make me look anything like you. I want to look real. And not made up. You're just trying too hard ma'am.
Seriously? Are you texting someone behind the counter? I can see you. Did you just run to the back to answer your phone? Are you frikkin' kidding me? *Storms out of the store....but before my last heel is out of the door...*
"I'm sorry for the wait, What brings you in to see us today?"